Made In U.S.A.

A visiting friend asked what he should buy for souvenir. Well, there are so many souvenir stores. We should be able to get something right. So, we shopped around New York City -- from Chinatown to Harlem, from 99-cents gift shop to Fifth Avenue. We could not find one non-food product that symbolize U.S.A. and is made in U.S.A. -- GM or Ford vehicles don't count.

Thanks to globalization. We have dedicated areas on the Earth specialized in manufacturing and some other areas "focus on services". Is it really making sense?

Keep Changing Plans

I like to plan ahead. Even going to a day trip, I would spend some time to do research to make sure I could spend the time there in the most efficient way. Depending on the nature of the plan, I always build in some alternatives for any uncertainties.

The reality is that nothing goes as the ideal plan. I have to keep changing plans to accommodate the environment. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just go as the flow. But I can’t. It is not me. I have to know what to expect in order to work effectively. With such expectation, I get disappointment every now and then. It is when we have to change plan again.

To plan or not to plan? For me, it is not an option.

It Is a Matter of Priority And Determination

When I left work today, my colleague said "Run. Go to your second job." She was referring to picking up the children from summer camp and nursery school. She knew I was late. What she did not know was that I was actually running to my first job.

Don’t get me wrong. I am very serious about my career and have been working damn hard at my full-time job. Nevertheless, nothing is comparable to my role as a mother. My three "bosses" are my first priority, my life. I am always there when they need me. If any of them is sick or have performance/competition, everything has to wait. I will reschedule meetings. I will finish work late at night. I will skip blogging.

People always ask how I could manage so many things. I believe it is a matter of priorities and determination. If you fill your bottle with stones first, it will have room for sand and water. Not the other way though.

Am I tired? Physically, sometimes. Mentally and spiritually, never better. My children are my source of happiness and motivation. They make me more passionate about life and more engaged in my work. They are my angels.

I would not be able to balance work and life without others’ help. I am thankful to have:

• a understanding husband (Well, he actually does a lot more than just understanding.)
• accommodating employers (Flexibility is the key.)
• a great babysitter (I consider myself won a lotto to have her before my children goes to school.)
• a supportive family (They live close and have been my back-up whenever I need.)

Thank you all!

Event Networking vs Children Events

Since I have changed my career path recently (from agency/media to financial services), I have been actively seeking for any networking opportunities in the new industry. In the past few months, I have been to quite many business events. Though I met some interesting people and had some great conversations, I found it very hard to seriously connect with people after the events. Comparatively, networking at children events is so much easier to initiate and maintain.

Just two weeks ago, I was in a chess tournament with my daughters. While the children were having fun in the games, the parents were “stuck” in a small waiting area. Some of them brought books and laptops, most were bored. It was the best time to make friends. Parents were so happy to find other adults to talk to. Throughout the game, I bumped into a Councilmember, an agency president, an owner of a trading firm, and many more. There were no agenda. Dialogs usually began with common interest – the children and the game, then the jobs and everything else. And guess what? These parents would meet again very soon.

Indeed, the next day after the chess tournament, I met the Councilmember again in a different set up – a TV program premier. What a small world!

Last week, I took my daughters to a new ballet school for trial classes. To kill time, I introduced myself to several mothers, including a psychiatrist and a textile saleswoman. We talked about ballet, culture, travel, outsourcing, depression, and many more topics. Amazing!

I do not mean conversations at business events are less electrifying. They are just different. But one thing for sure – at least for me – is that I am more relaxed talking to parents than to business associates. So, while I am still trying to find way to stay connected with the people I meet at those business events, let me enjoy my chats with all those interesting parents.

Sharon Stone's Karma Remarks

I wrote about Sharon Stone’s Karma Remarks on my other blog Asian Marketing. It was just a general summary of the event. I did add a note to marketers about being sensitive to their audience and damage control. I was shocked about the feedback I received. People wrote me back in both English and Chinese cursing the actress. So far, no one yelled at me. But I declined to publish most of feedbacks. From the strong language I received, I could really feel how upset Chinese are. I wouldn’t blame them. I understand.

It is just one word. It could revoke all the goodwill. It could turn a beloved angel to a bloody evil. So, mind your words. You may lose everything for just one word.

Teach Children the Power of Matching Fund

Due to the natural disaster in Asia, my children’s school set up a Relief Fund and asked parents for donation. They did the same for Hurricane Katrina and the Southeast Asia Tsunami. But I want to make it different this time – I asked my children to donate.

I figure it is the right time. First, the disaster news was all around. My children had already seen the pictures as I mentioned in “Share with Children the Disaster News”. They had asked why people asked for donation, where would the money go, who could be benefited, what would the victim get, what do they need the most, why people should donate, what do they get, etc. With all the explanations I made, they should be ready for their first big monetary donation.

I also told my children the power of matching fund. I offered to match 100% of what they donate. To make the deal even sweeter, I showed them my company policy to match 100% of how much we donate. My 8-year-old girl thought it was so “cool” to make $1 become $4. She opened her wallet and counted the bills; so did my other daughter.

I think I just killed two or three birds with one stone.

Private Time with Each Child

It is not easy to balance between work and family, not to mention when you have multiple children. Distributing the fair amount of attention to each is no less challenging than working on several projects with close deadlines. I have three little daughters. I always have to split myself up and give each of them few minutes at a time. They have to take turn to talk to Mommy, but the wait should not be long.

My youngest Princess had a photo shoot the other day. So, she could not join the other sisters to the Yankees Stadium for the baseball game. She complained it was unfair at the beginning. But as soon as she realized she could have Mommy the whole evening and night just for herself, she was overjoyed.

It was Friday 5:30pm when we finished the shooting, Princess HH wanted to do some shopping at the mall. So we did. I must say shopping with one kid is very relaxing. If you don’t agree, try shop with three young ones.

After we picked our gifts, we stopped by Chuck E Cheese’s to play some games. Within the 15 minutes we were there, Princess HH probably played more games than she had in an hour when her sisters were around taking turns.

The two of us had dinner in a restaurant picked by Princess HH and dishes ordered by the 3-year-old. We chatted about her friends, school, Sesame monsters, and of course the sisters. Oh, we had so much fun.

As for my other two Princesses, they were happy not to have a “baby” around. After all, they think watching game at the stadium is a big kid thing.

Lesson learned: I should separate my Princesses for different activities every now and then. I mean real activities, not just having one in piano class while another one in ballet. More importantly, I should give each of them some private time with Mommy. Such time is treasure to the kids AND me.

Managing Children and Leading Staff

Though my Princesses are just two years apart from each other, their interests and capabilities are not quite close. Keeping them contented under the same roof could be challenging, but definitely doable. The more I look at it; I found it very similar to managing staff in the work environment.

Rule #1: Understand your staff, know what they like and what they do the best
LL (8-year-old) loves Harry Potter movies after she finished reading the whole series, but her sisters think they are scary. HH (3-year-old) prefers Sesame Street and Curious George. She particularly likes playing the games at pbskids.org and sesameworkshop.org. Our kindergartener YY (5.5-year-old) is busy learning and trying very hard to catch up with LL. She is the only one who wouldn’t mind to practice Chinese writing.

Rule #2: Assign projects that best fit their interest and capabilities
This is the reason we have three TVs and three computers at home. They are in separate locations and would not bother each other. No fighting. No tears.

Rule #3: Multitask
I would stop by each one to check their progress, answer questions and reassign tasks every 10-15 minutes. In between I have to do my work too – cooking, cleaning, you name it.

Rule #4: Give the opportunities to work together
How about drawing a giant picture with chalk in the backyard? Are you ready to make some jello? Let’s do it together.

Rule #5: Let them help each other and learn from each other
Sometimes I ask one read to the other, or one show the other shortcut to finish a task. Mom rewards those who help and those who learn from sisters patiently.

Rule #6: Some pain, some gain“Time is up. Piano time. You can come back to play the game after your finish practicing the new song.”

Rule #7: Give them limited options
Instead of asking what they want for lunch, ask if they want noodle or rice. Instead of asking whether they want any fruit (when you actually want them to have some anyway), ask if they prefer orange or mango.

Rule #8: Be fair – at least make them believe you are“LL took nap when she was at your age. You don’t need to nap after you turn six. It is fair. No question.”

Rule #9: Knows what to deal with conflicts“I told you: no one gets anything if you fight. The doll is now mine. I don’t care who started it. Someone should have come to me before the fight.”

Rule #10: Negotiate and build trust
Listen to what they want. If they want to go to McD to have the happy meal and toy, make a deal to go to noodle bar and then 99 cents store to get some stickers or such. Communicate with them that you are boss and all you want is their best. Lead them the way that they could and would trust you.

These are real management skills. Mothers should put these to the resumes.

Technology Empowers or Dehumanizes Relationships

Dan C. and I had a discussion today on whether technology empowers or dehumanizes Relationships.

Look around on the train or bus. People are listening to iPods, reading their e-books, replying emails, watching videos, texting messages, playing games. Nobody talks any more, as if nobody needs to. There isn’t even eye contact. It is amazing – and scary – how people in such close proximity could be so disconnected.

Technology is supposed to be a tool to facilitate interaction, not to prevent it. But why people IM when they are sitting to each other? I personally think it is up to the people. From my personal experience, technology definitely empowers me to communicate with my network.

Before Facebook, I seldom talked to my college friends, almost never talked to my high schoolmates in Hong Kong. Now, not only we "talked", we are organizing reunion outside the cyber world. LinkedIn is my address book for most of my colleagues and business associates. It helps me to track if they change job or get promoted. I always send a note to them when that happens. My best friends (since childhood) are not in the US, but we never feel we are far from each other. It is all because of the advanced technology. Without it, I don't know how I work efficiently with freelancers around the world on some of my moonlight projects.

Dan argued that technology is an enabler but also a trap. Since it enables remote access to work, most of us work longer and practically standing by 24/7. People feel compelled to be plugged so as not to fall behind.

Is that technology's fault? Technology improves productivities. It makes remote working possible, but never asks anyone to work more hours. It is the people who choose to work more hours. It is the corporate culture, peer pressure, and close deadline that force people to “choose” to work harder.

But serious, it is your call – to control or to be controlled by technology.

Technology and the Generational Divide

Just came back from a forum “Technology and the Generational Divide – Bridging the Gap” in NYC. Panelists include Joanne Martin, President of the IBM Academy; Mark Schnitzer, General Manager of MSN Money; and Eric Kamen, Managing Director of Morgan Stanley Information Technology. CBS Consumer Reporter Kirstin Cole was the moderator.

Some notes to share:

• No doubt different generations have very different comfort levels on all kinds of technology. Bridging the gaps among staff of various generations is challenging. Companies should seek ways to take advantage of the dissimilarity and bond people together.


• Social network is not just for marketing; at least companies should not see it that way. Incorporate it in the business strategy to engage customers, enhance services, and empower internal communication as well as collaboration.


• Technology changes the culture and communication in every generation. It could change corporate culture too.


• Thanks to technology. Many professionals practically work 24/7 now. It is convenient and also frustrating. It is our job to be selective, to enjoy work while being "entertained."


• Parents should set good examples as to when to unplug. To save children from cyber crime, the only way is to educate, educate and educate.


• The major obstacle for big corporations, especially financial service companies, to adopt new technology is the regulation restrictions. Panelists insist technology developers/providers are aware of the issue. They believe there has been some progress.


• Technology usage behavior varies not just between generation, but also age, and gender. MSN research finds that women skew more on social network while men tend to use it as tool to perform tasks.


• There has been a drop in women selecting technology at school in the past few years. It is not a good sign. Outside of the US, this has become a serious problem.

I also learned something else from few new friends. Special thank you to Women’s Bond Club for organizing the event.

Share With Children the Disaster News

Experts suggest parents to limit young children exposure to the news, especially TV as it tends to report only the most dramatic events. What if the news pictures are all around? What if they ask questions about it?

When the two planes crashed into WTC in 2001, my eldest daughter was in the nursery school 5 minutes walk away from the scene. I ran from midtown where I worked to pick her up. Luckily, the teachers were still there to ensure the safety of the children. We walked over Manhattan Bridge with hundreds of anxious New Yorkers. I was no less scared than any of them. My one-year-old, however, was so tired that she fell into asleep in my arm.

We managed to get back home in Brooklyn hours later. Everything was normal in the neighborhood. I did not turn on TV, radio or any media. I tried to stay calm (pretend to be calm). My daughter did not know anything about 911. To her, it was just like any other day.

When Tsunami hit the Southeast Asia in 2005, I hid the news from my three daughters (5-, 3- and half-year-olds). It was not difficult. But I could not do the same when Hurricane Katrina stuck New Orleans later the year. The news was all over the school. Teachers explained what hurricane was in the class. I could not stop them.

Just this month, we had two major natural disasters – cyclone in Myanmar and earthquake in China. This time, I have nowhere to hide my kids from the news. They heard about it from school. When we were in Chinatown, the sad pictures are on front covers of all Chinese newspapers. Since newspapers were displayed and sold in every block of the town, one could not avoid seeing them. Several community organizations set up booths on the streets (almost every other block) asking for donation to the relief fund. Even the school sent out notice asking for donation.

So, I took another path. I proactively showed my children the disaster pictures on the Internet and explained to them what happened. They were sad, but did not cry. My main messages to them were:

• Be thankful for what you have. Some other kids could not even have water.
• Help when you can. The money you give up for a bubble tea (their favorite Asian drink) is enough to feed a family over there a healthy meal.
• Sad things happen. Be strong if it happens to you.

We mourned for few minutes. As soon as I offered ice-cream, smiley faces came back. My children were happy again.

... It is me who cannot put away the sad images, cannot stop thinking about what-if. Maybe it is better to take the news when you are young, when it is easier to be distracted and effortless to stay positive.

Feng Shui

Feng Shui is no longer limited to Chinese. Many American are interested in it. Google just gave me 24.8 million "Feng Shui" search results as I am typing this, not too far away from Chinese equivalent "風水" which shows 37.6 million results. There are many English books about the topic too. I just found 8,000+ from Amazon.

Last weekend, I spotted some Chinese Feng Shui books in the Central Library. I immediately borrowed two. After all, it is better to study Chinese culture in Chinese. The books were written by two renowned Feng Shui masters. Though the content covers only the basic – more like Feng Shui 101 for dummies, there are conflicts between the two. So, who should I believe?

For sure, I should believe in myself. Whichever way makes me feel more comfortable will be where I would head to. Follow the heart. Feng Shui is for reference only.

What I Want For My Mother’s Day

My Princesses complained that they did not enjoy the Mother’s Day dinner with the extended family because I spent too much time talking to the adults.

My sweet hearts, I don’t have that much chance to have dinner with my parents and brothers. Please let me play my role as a daughter and a sister; allow me talk like an adult with other adults. I would be 100% yours right after. That’s another my mother’s gift I like to have.

Of course, I also love the cards you drew, the pictures you painted, the plants you bought, the tissue flower you made and the one-hour afternoon nap you granted me… I just wanted a little more. It was my day. Thank you!

Internet Is Back

Finally, I have the Internet back at home. The disconnection was a nightmare… that I surprisingly enjoyed. I read a lot during the last few weeks – 12 Chinese and 2 English books. Now, time to go back to write.

There Are Garbage Cans All Around

I couldn't help. When I saw this guy threw a water bottle on the train track, I shouted, "That's the train track. Garbage can is on the other side." He turned around trying to find who was yelling at him. He had no clue, and was so embarrassed when he realized everyone on the platform was looking at him. As soon as he turned his back on me, I shouted again, "Trash on track will catch fire when the train run on it." Now, everybody looked at me shockingly. What? They didn't know that. I didn't mind their puzzled look. I kept starring at the guy. He was seeking for a hole to hide himself. Luckily, a train came and he jumped in.

There was another time another guy "accidentally" dropped his empty pizza box on the platform. I picked it up and asked him, "Do you need my help to garbage it?" He was stunned and speechless. I walked 15 feet to the nearest trashcan, put the box in and walked back to the guy. "The garbage can is right there. You probably did not see it." The guy in his power suit thanked me. He was extremely embarrassed in front of his friends.

I was in the playground the other day, two boys took turn spitting on the floor. I starred at them silently. They stopped, looked at each other, and apologized to me.

I could go on and on. You may say I am ridiculous; I think those embarrassed were. I am not a cop or a teacher. I know I could not change the world. But I can't help. I live in the same world as these guys. I have the right to tell them they are damaging it. Don't I?

Don't Burn The Bridges

I was in a seminar on networking today. One of the speakers reminded the attendees not to burn any budges. You never know who is going to be your boss or client. Even if you are absolutely sure that someone will never be in any important position, she could become an assistant to your client, or worse, his wife.

Indeed it is a small world and you never know. Today I’ve just found out one of my colleagues and I actually bumped into each other more than 10 years ago and had many manual friends. I had an old client came to me soliciting business after he worked in media. I also had countless colleagues become clients, competitors and vendors.

Seriously, don't burn any bridges.

Don’t Feel Guilty About Taking Breaks

Due to some technical problem, I had no internet access at home for more than a week. When I told people about that, most said, "How could you survive?" Oh well, I am still alive in one piece. No doubts it was not convenient. But hey, it was a good excuse for me to stop writing but reading. To me, it was like a vacation.

People need breaks to recharge themselves. It is the best and perhaps the only way to stay creative and productive. In one of my favorite books "The Power of Full Engagement", Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz stated that full engagement requires periodic strategic recovery. They explained the energy that serves full engagement is renewed and stored during periods of strategic recovery (disengagement). Such oscillation cycle helps us to raise our bars.

The same concept applies in sport. Loehr and Schwartz wrote "Interval training is a means by which to build more energy capacity and to tolerate more stress, but also to teach the body to recover more efficiently." Top athletics have interval training. So should we. Don't feel guilty about taking breaks, but be proud of taking the step to engage yourself.

My Princess Made Herself Pregnant

My youngest Princess has been asking about having a baby almost since she could talk. I thought it was natural – the youngest wants to have someone younger to take care of. Recently, I realized she actually wanted a baby herself. She wanted to be a mom. She was so desperate that she made herself pregnant.

Every night in the past two months, my three-year-old Princess put soft dolls and stuff animals under her pajama. When she woke up, she gently take the babies out, put them under blanket and lectured them, "Mom is now going to work. You must be good staying at home."

Little Princess had a tough belly. Sometimes she had single babies, but most of the time she had twins or triplets. She was hiding her pregnancy from her sisters all this time. She probably thought other Princesses would laugh at her. It is a secret between her and Mom.

Is it cute, sweet and innocent? But for whatever reasons – maybe I "mentioned" too much about the hardship of being a mom from time to time – little Princess stop having babies at night last week.

I don't know if she would resume pregnancy any time soon. But I though I should write the story down and put it in my treasure box.

I'm The CEO

I attended a seminar about reenergizing oneself today. The presenter reminds people that they are the CEO of their careers. If I add to that, I would say, we are the CEO of our lives.

No more blaming opportunities never knock, others not supportive, media not on their side, market not going up… You are totally responsible for who you are and where you are. Ok, there may be some tragic situations that make some exceptions. But that's rare. In general, you are the CEO and there should not be any excuse. Wake up, plan and act. Don't just wait, think and complain.

There are three Es that would help: Education, Exposure and Experience. Get the training needed, network with people within and outside the company, learn from experiencing various projects. Meanwhile, don't forget to set the goals, evaluate and redefine. Make sure you have the right attitude.

I know where I want to go. I have pretty good idea how to get there. I am working damn hard to prepare myself on the way. I have a strong desire to achieve more. I hope my Princesses would do the same. Hope I could be their good role model. Raising my Princesses is my most important business; I could afford to fail everything else but this.

April Fool

Today is supposed to be a day people could joke around. But I guess Leslie Cheung's death changed it five years ago -- at least for those in my generation. Miss you and your music, GeGe.

Quote of the day in my company's intranet today is "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." It is a Chinese proverb that tells people it is ok to be tricked; just make sure you learn the lesson and don't make the same mistake. I need to share this line at dinner with my Princesses today.

My Asian Marketing post is ranked #2 at Google Blogsearch

"Asian Marketing" is a very competitive search term. Not only that hundreds of advertising agencies and consulting firms in the U.S. try to get high ranking on the term, thousands of others in Asia want the same.

I started my "Asian Marketing" blog http://asianmarketing.blogspot.com/ when I was taking the marketing buzz class at NYU back in 2006. I was working for an ad agency where there was no blogging policy. I had to be very careful as to what I could say and not, yet still show my professionalism. It wasn't easy, so I stopped the blog a few months later.

I resumed the "Asian Marketing" blog on March 20th. I am surprised I got the second place on Google Blogsearch http://blogsearch.google.com/ so soon (less than 2 weeks). I am thrilled! Seriously, it is very encouraging. I will keep working on it. Hopefully, the blog will show up on the first page of the regular search… one day.

This blog you are reading is already on page one if you search "fanny lawren". Well, no one competes with me for my name, I guess. My other Chinese blogs will have longer way to go because I found ranking in Chinese is even tougher. Wish me luck!

The Beauty of the Garden

It is Sunday, but my Princesses woke up at 6am. They sure did not want to give Mom a break. After practicing piano and Chinese the whole morning, I figured we should get out of the house.

We first headed to Children Brooklyn Museum but found out it was still closed for final renovation. The sign – so as its web – said it would reopen in spring. Isn't it spring now?

We made a U-turn and went to the Botanical Garden. The weather was so nice. It made the green even greener. I couldn't help lying on the grass. It was so comfortable. The Princesses loved the fish the most. They tried to count and told me there were a thousand of them. Ha!

We picked up some pinecones and colored them at home. It was a fun project. It made me feel like … just for some moments … we lived in the wild countryside. How luxurious – for city worms like us!

Muscle Relaxant Turned Me Into A Sleeping Beauty

My lower back hurt so much that I went to see the doctor on Thursday. She said I should take some muscle relaxant. The pills are designed for giant American football player. Petite size like me should take half of the pill each time. The doctor warned me that even for half of the dose, I would still need to prepare to sleep for 10 hours.

Of course I could not spare 10 hours for sleep. I made it 8, and was totally disoriented the next morning. Gee, I must admit I am so much smaller than the average American.

At least the pills work. My back doesn't hurt any more. Doctor recommended me to call up the physiatrist for follow up therapy to prevent recurrence. I know I should listen. Let's see if I could find time.

Traditional vs New Digital Advertising

In marketing, traditional advertising means print, TV, and radio. Digital advertising is not traditional advertising by today's standard. But I believe very soon we will have traditional digital advertising and new digital advertising. If it is not called "new", it could be "advanced", "rich", or whatever.

In my definition, traditional digital advertising include those marketers spend most of the time doing now – website development, banner advertising, web sponsorship, search engine optimization, keyword buy, video, etc. They are all one-way communication.

New digital advertising, on the other hand, is all about interaction – posting and soliciting feedback, listening and adjusting. Instead of branding banner, how about direct response banner? Instead of same information for all, how about adjusted content, tone, color, and layout for different web users? Instead of sending e-newsletter, soliciting contributions?

In fact, none of these ideas are new. They have all been done, not just recently but a while ago. Yet they are still uncommon. Is it because it requires very high-level technology? Not really. Very expensive? Bad creative costs the same as good creative. Very time consuming? Maybe, but mostly on education.

The main reason, I think, is that marketers are just like most of the human beings. They feel safer not to make changes. They feel more comfortable to give one-way message. It is too scary to hear from consumers. Why rock the boat when you see the boat is still moving? Well, because you want to get to places you want to be faster and before your competitors.

Are Companies Listening to Their Customers?

Starbuck is launching My Starbucks Idea (http://mystarbucksidea.force.com), a social network site where consumers can post ideas on how Starbuck could improve its products and service. Consumers could also share the ideas and vote for their favorite ideas.

I suppose Starbucks' intention is to engage consumers and to prove they encourage two-way dialogs. It is pretty much like Dell's IdeaStorm (http://www.ideastorm.com) which successfully has gained many consumer hearts, and even some critics'.

Nevertheless, media coverage shows that many people do not appreciate the effort. Jim Romenesko, keeper of the Starbucks Gossip blog (http://starbucksgossip.com) told Ad Age that he believes Starbucks is just tired of all the negative comments on his site and tried to gain more control. Many echo and suspect Starbucks would not welcome all ideas openly, but filter some comments. Others simply do not think the Dell magic applies here. After all, one can talk a lot about what they want from technology but there are not much average folks can say about coffee.

Guys, let's be open mind. See how Starbuck really treat the ideas and comments first. Social site like this could strengthen or hurt a brand -- all depends on how the companies manage the dialogs. How much control Starbucks can let go? From what I see, it would be a case study of brand hijack or brand disaster a year from now.

Chinese Names

A Chinese friend of mine just gave birth to a baby. Some old friends got together visiting the new mom and the newborn today. The topic of naming the children in Chinese came up. Some believe it is meaningless since no documents would identify them in our native language. Most parents, including me, make the pinyin (English pronunciation) of the Chinese names as the kids' middle name. We are hoping it would remind our children that they are Chinese. Yet many argue pinyin does not really represent the actual Chinese characters well since each pronunciation stand for multiple characters.

For those of us that have double citizenship, one way to give our children some Chinese identification is to get them the passports of our native countries -- of course with their Chinese names. But you know what? No matter how much you do and how hard you try, your kids may still not able to identify themselves in Chinese.

I remember there was once a third generation Chinese American told me his grandfather gave him a Chinese name. He forgot how to pronounce it and could not write it, but he described it to me that "the middle character is like a long box broken into three square with a stoke on the top, the last character means success." If you are Chinese, you should be able to guess it.

Writing Diary at the Early Age

My dad worked overseas when I was little. There was no email back then. International calls were very experience. Mom asked me to write a letter to dad every week or so. I started with drawing, then a few words, later couple lines, and finally paragraphs.

Writing wasn't hard. But finding something to write about was difficult for me. Schools in where I was raised did not emphasize on creative writing. Hong Kong education was known to be "duck-stuffing" – one way only. Students only needed to memorize all the information. They were not encouraged to express themselves.

The training my Princesses receive is the opposite. They are asked to write (or draw on) journal in the class every school day. Their journals are Mom's best treasures, I think. Unfortunately, I could only read them at the end of each semester. It is no fair.

Last Friday, I found some beautiful discounted journal books at the Metropolitan Museum of Art store. I bought two for my Princesses. I asked YY who is in kindergarten to write down what she did every day. It has to be two sentences and should include at least four of the W elements – who, what, where, when, why, how. Second grader LL could write long stories already. So, I told her to limit entries to three sentences only. I wanted her to learn to summarize and eliminate zero words.

I don't have the patience to read to children. Prince Charming does it much better than me. But I love to read their writing and see how they improve each day. It is better than any gifts.

Blog Disabled

One of my blogs was disabled yesterday afternoon. It was my first time being banned and claimed I violated any Terms of Use. I was so nervous: What did I do wrong?

I followed some procedures to file request to reactivate my blog. I was then led to the Help page that explained the disabling was a result of the automated classification system marking my blog as spam. Blogger admitted because the system was automated, there would necessarily be some false positives. Once it confirms the blogs are not spam, it would put them back live. I was much more relieved: So I didn't do anything wrong.

I should have stopped right there. But I didn't. I clicked the Help Groups links provided and found people complaining their blogs taken down for 20+ days. I was so upset: What did I do wrong to deserve this?

This morning when I checked the blog, it was up again. I was thrilled: So, I was not wrong.
On one hand I appreciate the system being cautious and took care of the misjudgment so quickly. On the other, I really hate being led for a roller coaster mood.

Effective Presentations

I went to a seminar yesterday at Pace University: "The Three Habits of Highly Effective Presentations" by Tarona Lee, President of TLL Human Resource Consultation, Inc. It was a great seminar. Content was informational and organized. Presenter was knowledgeable and prepared. Audiences were engaged and willing to share.

Honestly, the three habits and other skills Tarona presented were not new at all – at least not to me. But just by watching her presenting and listening to the audience feedback, I learned a lot.

Professor Barry Miller, thank you for organizing it.

How To Be A Fair Mom

March 18, 2008 8:55pm
In Parenting Magazine April 2006, one of the advices to Moms who have infants and toddlers is “If both children are crying, tend to the older one, then to the baby. The older one will remember – but the baby won’t.”
What if you have three bigger kids? They will all remember – every moment they think you treat the others better. It is not easy to make all three think you are fair and that you love each of them the same. I am still learning and practicing. Any tips are welcome.

Princesses Going Different Routes

March 13, 2008 9:34pm
The Princesses look very alike when they were babies, but not quite so as they grow. Their personalities and interests, particularly, are going to different directions. Since I have a busy schedule, I put them in the same extra activities this school year – piano, Chinese, chess, gymnastics, and karate. But time has proved to me that this is not the right way to go. While LL loves all these activities, YY does not enjoy as much (although she asked to join all). YY likes art and dance a lot more. She regretted to quit painting and ballet after she started kindergarten. It looks like I have no choice but re-arrange all the schedules next semester. Hope I could find the summer camp(s) that both like. HH is easy… at least for now… no doubt it will change two years later. Wish me good luck!

Bear Sterns, Eliot Spitzer, Crane Collapse

March 17, 2008 9:22pm
Just a year ago, Bear Sterns was $170/share, now $2. Isn’t it scary?
Last month, Eliot Spitzer was the respectful New York Governor. Now, he is just Client #9 who no one want to associate with.
You were in a Manhattan townhouse. A minute later, the huge crane in the next building collapsed and you were stuck in rubble, hoping someone would find you before your kids lost their parent.
Tragedy happens. Wish everyone well!

"The Long Tail" And Other Books

March 11, 2008 9:01pm
I guess I wrote too much in the last two months. I felt so drained. So, I decided to take a break and READ. Somehow, I managed to finish three books so far.
1) “What Women Wants” – I bought it for Prince Charming. Then I thought I should read it first. What if I don’t agree with the content, right? It turned out that I almost totally agree with the authors. I highly recommend it.
2) “Get Everyone in Your Boat Rowing in the Same Direction” – Excellent management coaching book. The leadership principles stated are simple to understand and easy to follow through. I found the book explains why I left some of the companies I used to work with. I should send copies to few of my former bosses.
3) “The Long Tail” – It is a must read. Chris Anderson defined a now economics of Culture and Commerce. Though the book is as thorough as an academic textbook, it is very interesting. I basically couldn’t put it down. It gave me some new ideas for my new website.

James Wong 黃霑

March 7, 2008 10:06pm
Hong Kong have lost some legendary stars in the past few years: Leslie 張國榮, Anita 梅艷芳, Danny 陳百強, Roman 羅文, etc. It’s sad. The one I miss the most is James Wong 黃霑.I was working in media when he passed away. So, I got the news earlier than the general overseas public. I was shocked. I made couple calls to people who knew him well. All were speechless.
I couldn’t sleep that night. When I fell into sleep, I told James in my dream, “How could you go just that? You still owe me the autographed collection that you promised me on the stage at your show in Atlantic City.”
I wasn’t a big fan of his, but love reading his “stuff”. James, I am writing too. I don’t intend to be famous or make any big money from my work. But I love to be read, so I write. I still remember what you said and I will do my best.

Happy International Women Day!

March 8, 2008 6:09pm
I wonder how many female friends of mine celebrate the International Women Day 三八婦女節. The guys? Of course, they don’t. I have been trying to make the day special every year, but didn’t quite succeed. Today, well, I made Prince Charming take care of things at the bank, CPA firm and laundry… so I could do some reading. That’s pretty much it. Oh, I am not cooking tonight – take a day off. Maybe, I could try a movie tonight… no, not in theatre, just DVD.

Wish Joyce 欣宜 the Best

March 6, 2008 9:35pm
Since Lydia 沈殿霞 is so respectful, many of her VIP friends publicly offer help and promises to assist Joyce in her entertainment career. This is nice. But I found Jacky Cheung’s 張學友note the best: “No need to give yourself too much pressure. As long as you are a good and responsible person, Mom will be proud of you.” As a parent, I can’t agree more.

I cried when I read about Lydia Sum 沈殿霞

March 5, 2008 8:18pm
I found some time to read the old Chinese papers piled up at home. The most striking news to me was the death of Lydia Sum 沈殿霞. I was so sad that I actually cried.
Lydia was not any celebrity; she was a legend. Her laugh was an icon. It represents true happiness. I was sorry to see her go. But what broke me into tears was her story as a single mom. I am so touched by her love to her daughter Joyce 欣宜.
Years ago, I was not afraid of death. I did my best so I would not have any unfinished business if the time came. Everything changed after the first princess arrived. Now with three, I am telling you I am very afraid of dying. I cannot die soon. The princesses need me. Prince Charming can’t manage them well; he could hardly take care of himself… I could not stop the thought when I read through the coverage about Lydia.
I wish the princesses know how much I love them.

Checked on To-Do List

March 4,2008 5:27am
It is 5:27am. Just finished all the works—full time job and some side projects. It feels good to have everything on the to-do list checked. But then, that is just the to-do list for “MUST BE DONE ASAP”. I still have to file tax, sign the princesses up for summer camps, etc.Oh, it is now 5:29am. Should I go to bed for an-hour nap or just clean up the house?

Avis: " We Try Harder"

March 4, 2008 10:00pm
Got an official notice today that I did not win an important contest; but the judge panel was very impressed with my achievements and… Sigh! It reminds me the 4A contest a decade ago. My team was not THE winner; but the judge panel thought we had the best idea so they rewarded us “The Best Strategy” title… Sigh! Further back, at the beauty pageant (I know, it was ancient history), I wasn’t THE winner either, but I earned a very good reputation and a great network.
I always manage to get in the finals, but somehow do not win. Fate? Oh well, I know there are always people better than me at certain things. I will just work harder, as I have to stay in the final. :-)
I am happy as long as my princesses think I am “the best mom in the whole wild world”; Prince Charming believes I am “always the best no matter what”; my parents—and even some aunts—think I am the best daughter… who cares about the other best? Right? Right.

GIGO

February 29,2008 11:01pm
Garbage in, garbage out. If you give me incomplete data, you will not have a full analysis report. I told you the best strategy and the 10 things I need from you. If you give me only 5, don’t expect the same result as 10. When do people understand that?

Committed To A Project

March 2,2008 9:06pm
This is me. I am either not committed, or committed 120%. I will work damn hard to deliver 100% on target, on schedule and on budget. I would rather scarify my sleeping time than to disappoint anyone. To some extent, I expect my teammates to do the same, or close. If you are not this type, stay away.

Jury Duty

February 28,2008 9:43pm
Thanks to technology. We check the weather before we get out of the house for a trip. We sign up for airline alert so we know if there is any flight delay or cancellation. We could reschedule online or on the phone fairly easy.
But sorry, the court system is still at the Stone Age. They need you to stay in the central room for hours. In some courts, you may even need to sign in and out for a break to the restroom. If your case is rescheduled, they will tell you after you show up in court.
If only the court could send email alert or text to cell phones! Could they at least give jurors a pager (like those given by the restaurants)? That way, we could take a nap in our cars, walk around the neighborhood, get a coffee, or go to the library/bank?
Some courts are nice. They have computers for you (but with very short time out), wireless connection (great if you have a laptop), TV (news channel only). But most don’t. Make sure you bring along your portable DVD player, games and books if you go for jury duty.
As for me, I translated 100 pages of a book during my first two days of jury duty, i.e. the period of just sitting and waiting to see if I would be selected to serve… oh yes, I am selected AGAIN.

Buddakan Heather Yee

February 26 11:56pm
Had a very fun night with an old friend at the Pier in Atlantic City over the weekend. Met the bar tender at Buddakan—Heather Yee. She is the best! Her drinks were superrrrr! Very creative… just perfect. She is just 28 years young, but already had more than two dozens drinks of her own on menus inside and outside Buddakan. More are coming as well. Good for her!
And guess what, it is a very small world. After we chatted a little while, we found out that my friend knows Heather’s dad, mom, step-mom and uncle. Amazing!
BTW, the desserts at Continental (next to Buddakan) are sooooo cute and yummy ($4 each only). You must try.

Performance Apprasial

February 27,2008 8:54pm
Got my performance appraisal back today. Very happy! It feels good to be recognized and rewarded. :-)

Proofreading

February 20,2008 11:47pm
I had learned this long ago, but today I further confirmed it: When it comes to proofreading, every pair of eyes could find something new. Thanks to RK and LM for catching the errors on my document today.

Make Yourself Happy

February 19,2008 7:59pm
According to Gabrielle Leblance on O Magazine March 08, there are five things happy people do:
- They allow themselves to be happy.
- They avoid “if only” fantasies.
- They find their most golden self.
- They design their lives to bring in joy.
- They put best friends first.
I am proud to say that I do all the above (except that I may put my princesses before my best friends). And I am happy, very happy. I am thankful for what I have – no what-if. Yet, I keep working for personal growth intellectually, mentally, spiritually and financially. I prioritize my life duties to make sure I enjoy my life. And so should you, my friends!

Dinner with Extended Family

February 17, 2008 9:54pm
I feel old every time in such occasions. Thanks to the kids. They grow so fast, too fast.

Brainstorming

February 16,2008 10:31pm
I like brainstorming (com’on I am an ad man). But please don’t come in the room until you finish the brief and actually spend more than three minutes thinking about the topic first. If you are tired or not engaged, ask to be excused. Don’t come in ruin the fun session.
My best brainstorm-mate is dconnectb. Our meetings have always been productive, efficient, consistent and good timing. I love it!

Old Friends

February 15,2008 9:07pm
Spoke to two old friends who haven’t seen for long. Very thankful for the friendship.
Glenn, it is two way. I may have inspired you to pick up the new project. Note that you have been very supportive to me too. I am glad we have each other.
Ed, you know me too well. But I will prove you are wrong this time. Anyway, I owe you one.

Statistics & Business Modeling

February 12, 2008 8:35pm
The course wasn’t easy. I consider myself a number person. But it is hard to digest several college statistics classes in two days… especially right after an exhausting skiing trip. Almost everyone else in the room was research and analysis folk. I felt like I was an outsider. Anyway, I learned quite a lot.

Chinese New Year Eve

Let me start with this one...

Feb 6, 2008 10:22pm
Finally, we finished the big Chinese New Year Eve feast. I started cooking today at 5pm. Thank God we only do this few times a year.
Glad to have many good feedbacks on the Princess ‘07 album. How come the girls pose so well? Uh, they don’t. I just took a lot of pictures. Out of the 3000+ I took last year, those 30 were le creme de le creme. That’s all. So, here is the trick: Work Harder. Do More.

Start Over Again

Have been blogging on and off for a while. Finally, I can claim I am comfortable blogging. While I have other blogs using pen names, this one is all about me -- Fanny Lawren. Let me start by moving my Facebook blog here.